What to Ask When Picking a Pet Pro

When Trixie was a puppy, we had the bad luck that our first pet professional (not a trainer) was really into using pain and fear to train a dog, and demonstrated with 9 pound, 4 month Trixie.    

After that awful visit, I reached out to a force-free dog trainer friend (before I even knew the term "force-free"), who connected us to awesome trainers who taught us how to train Trixie with kindness and treats. 

Trixie has separation anxiety. We needed to avoid leaving Trixie alone while we did separation anxiety training with a certified pro. As a puppy and teen she loved playing with nearly every dog. So we looked for a daycare for Trixie when we moved to Los Angeles. It was so important that she feel safe at daycare, that no one hurt or scare her, that she get love if she asked for it. 

I looked at lots of daycare websites. A few said nonsense about packs and leadership and I could easily cross those off the list. But with most, we couldn't tell what Trixie's experience would be. We saw photos of dogs with happy smiles, or sitting on laps, or playing.  But would Trixie really be treated kindly there? I was stuck. I asked a force-free dog trainer, who gave us these two questions which helped us sooooo much:   

What happens if my dog gets it right? 

What happens if my dog gets it wrong? 

If Trixie gets it "right", however a daycare interprets that, we wanted her to get treats and, if she's demanding it, affection. 

If Trixie gets it "wrong", however a daycare sees that, we wanted the answer to be that nothing would happen to Trixie.    

We called up at least half a dozen daycares and asked them our two questions. 

Sometimes the person we talked to asked us what we meant. So we'd clarify: gets it right means doing something you like, doing the right thing as you see it. Doing it wrong means doing something you don't like, something wrong. 

Staff at daycares said things that were very useful for deciding where NOT to take Trixie, for example:

"We don't give dogs affection because that distracts them from playing with other dogs. Affection would also mess up our relationship with the dog." 

"We are a corrections-based facility. We correct the dogs using..." (I'm not mentioning the specific ways they said they hurt dogs to avoid triggering folks.) 

Finally, after calling more than a half dozen places, we reached someone at a daycare who said:

"Of course I pet dogs if the dogs want that!"

"How could a dog do something wrong? I would never try to hurt or scare a dog. That's the opposite reason I'm here." 

This person convinced us, and so we gave that a daycare a try. I could see Trixie looked happy when she got to the daycare and met the person we'd talked to. Trixie also looked happy when we brought her back other times and saw her with other staff. We looked through the window and saw Trixie playing like her usual spicy self with other dogs or sunning herself. 

I pass on these questions because they've helped us a lot finding people who care for Trixie with kindness. They're an option, as they are or in your own words, when you are vetting any pet pro -- trainer, groomer, walker, sitter, daycare, or veterinarian. 

If you'd like your dog to feel safe with you and learn to be braver, I'm here for that! If you'd like support with advocating with your dog, I'm here for that too! You got this!  `